


By Her Side: The Edict

by Vickiemoseley



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Gen, Hurt Fox Mulder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 18:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16331042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vickiemoseley/pseuds/Vickiemoseley
Summary: Continuation of the By Her Side series. Bill put his foot





	By Her Side: The Edict

**Author's Note:**

> The By Her Side series was created when I just couldn't get out of my head the idea that Bill Scully Jr. had to have some redeeming qualities

Title: By Her Side: The Edict  
Author: Vickie Moseley   
Summary: Continuation of the By Her Side series. Bill put his foot  
in his mouth and Mulder has to stay at Maggie's house, sharing a  
room with him.  
Category: S H MRS  
Spoilers: Not many, just general knowledge  
Rating: PG, only used the really bad word once  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, Fox, Dana, Maggie, Bill or Charlie.  
I do claim the tree, since CC didn't think of that one. And neither  
of us own God. So I won't infringe on CC's or God's copyrights.  
Archives: Anywhere the series is and any where else you want, just  
ask :)  
Comments: Back at gunpoint er, I mean by popular demand,  
Bill Scully, the reformed jerk. And one of these days, Maggie gets  
to have her say, but not this time :) 

By Her Side: The Edict   
by Vickie Moseley  
vmoseley@fgi.net

 

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been . . . aw, I know I  
went to Confession sometime before the wedding . . .   
Face it, God, this isn't really a formal Confession. I'm saving that  
for when I finally get this whole mess untangled in my mind. I  
refuse to have a sit down with Father McCue listening in until I  
know exactly what I'm charged with. I know that I'm being  
punished for a whole slew of sins, but to be honest, I'm running  
down the 'big Ten' and I'm having a hard time putting some of my  
infractions in categories.   
The big one is obvious. 'Thou shalt not lie.' OK, I realize I've  
broken that one. Hell, I've run over that one with a steam roller!  
But God, and I'm not trying to get 'Jesuit' on you or anything with  
a bunch of what ifs, but is it really a sin if you are telling the lie to  
protect someone you love? Someone or someones who really need  
your protection?   
Remember, in _The Sound of Music_ when the old nuns are  
standing there while Maria and the Captain and all those kids are  
hiding in among the graves and the one old nun tells the Nazis that  
the Von Trapps aren't there? Now, give it to me straight, God.  
Was that really a sin?   
Not that Mulder and my baby sister are in any way to be compared  
to Maria and Captain Von Trapp. Or even that snot nosed kid Kirk  
or what ever the hell his name was. Now Dana, she might be  
compared to Lisle or Leslie or what's her face. She gets all dewy  
eyed sometimes lately and to tell the truth, it's been kind of fun to  
watch. But Mulder . . . well, I'm at a complete loss. Maybe Max,  
the dumbass producer. Hell, I don't know. And I would _never_,  
God, never in a million years compare my mother to the SS. Well,  
maybe in efficiency and ability to get the truth out of an  
informant/prisoner. But just because she's so good at it, God. Not  
because she's ruthless or evil or . . . where the hell was I?   
Oh, yeah, so did I really break that Commandment? I mean, my  
soul's waiting for an answer here, God, so give me a handle on this,  
please.   
It seemed like a punishment without a crime from the start. I felt  
that through the evening I had done a stellar job of 'honoring my  
mother'. I was the one who suggested we go out to dinner and I  
didn't even balk too much when Mom decided to have Dana and  
her appendage, ur, I mean 'partner', come along. I even did a  
pretty fair job of 'love thy neighbor as thyself' assuming anybody  
would consider Mulder to be my neighbor. I have become privy to  
a secret. A really big secret that means a lot to my sister and her  
partner. I found out, and am completely OK with it, that my sister  
is in love with her partner. And they are actively . . . well, God,  
that's really for Dana to confess, but I'm sure you get the picture.   
Now, all that is fine and dandy, most of the time. Dana doesn't live  
at home, she's not really breaking that 'first rule of dating' edict  
that Dad handed out to each of us when we were 14. Mine and  
Charlie's went something like 'you don't screw around until you're  
married. But if you do, you don't do it in this house!' Missy told  
me, after her little talk, that the girls received a much shorter  
version. 'You don't screw around until you're married!' She  
broke that one the next week. Dana, on the other hand, St. Dana  
was never a worry to Dad in that department. I guess, technically,  
Dana's breaking that edict now because she and Mulder aren't  
married, but I think Dad would see the 'joined at the hip' action the  
two of them have as being as much like a marriage as you can get  
without registering for china.   
But what remains is that second half of the edict and so help me, if I  
can't have sex with my wife when I come to my mother's house,  
then my sister shouldn't be doing it, either!   
So why the hell did I help?   
Before I get in a whole lot of trouble with that statement, I don't  
mean 'help' as in participate. All I did was 'allow' the 'incident' to  
occur. I was not personally involved in any of it. I intend to keep it  
that way.   
But along the way, there were a whole lot of little infractions that I  
knew I'm gonna be paying for in the afterlife. And I would really  
like to do my penance and get on with my life here and now.   
Mom was the one who decided that Mulder looked tired and really  
needed to be watched over more closely. The fact that Mulder  
looked tired because he and my sister had been 'humpin' like  
bunnies for the entire afternoon didn't cross my mother's mind.  
And since that was the deep, dark secret that was being kept from  
her by the three of us, it didn't cross my mind to point out to her  
that _any man_ who'd gone ten rounds with a red head was likely  
to look like shit. I dated a red head in my first year at Annapolis. I  
married a blond, but she's a red where it counts. From where I'm  
standing, Mulder must have the stamina of a horse.   
But Mom, dear, sweet, 'take in any stray cat' Mom, just had to  
take care of Mulder. At her house. Where I was staying, as well.   
My dad bought a four bedroom house. He and Mom got the  
master bedroom, meaning it had more closet space. Charlie and I  
got the attic dormer room, which was hotter than hell in the  
summer and colder than a witches you know what in the winter, but  
it was all ours. Dana and Missy each had their own rooms because  
for the longest time, they fought like cats and dogs and Mom was  
afraid she'd wake up one morning and find both of them dead by  
each others hands.   
The dormer room, our 'old' room, has since been converted to  
storage. Fine, you live in a house for twenty years and you  
accumulate 'stuff'. Besides, I think all my high school yearbooks  
are up there somewhere and I'm not about to jeopardize their  
resting place by suggesting that we all chip in and clean out the  
attic.   
That leaves three bedrooms available. OK, three people in the  
house, three bedrooms, that seems like a great solution to me.  
Except Mom has decided that with all the grand kids (Matty) now  
coming along, she wanted to 'fix' up what was once Dana's room  
and make it a nursery/play room. Currently, the room sits  
completely empty, with Mom's rocker in the middle of it, until she  
pressures me into putting up the old crib or youth bed when we're  
out visiting sometime.   
Two rooms available. Three people. I haven't slept in the same  
room as my Mommy since I was two, so that's out. There is no  
way I'm staying in the same house if Mom and Mulder share a  
room and I think Mulder himself would have some problems there,  
so that's out. My, oh gosh, look at the sleeping arrangements.   
But there is a catch and a big one. In what was once Missy's old  
room and then somehow in Mom's mind got turned into mine and  
Charlie's room (I think Charlie slept there in his junior and senior  
years of high school and I only slept there when I was home on  
breaks or leave) there is a nice, relatively comfy double bed.   
One bed.   
Two guys, both of whom have standing relationships with  
significant others now forced into one room with one bed.   
That was my first punishment without a crime.   
Mulder took one look at the bed and turned white as a ghost. I  
know I wasn't looking that much better. Mulder eyed Mom and  
then me and said in a close to squeaky voice "I'll be fine on the  
sofa, Mrs. Scully."   
Mom laughed it off. "Oh don't be silly, Fox. And don't worry, you  
two guys are too big to both fit on that double bed. Bill, go up to  
the attic and bring down the sleeper bed."   
The sleeper bed. The sofa in the den was looking much better in  
my mind. I remember Charlie sleeping on that sleeper bed when he  
went through his 'bedwetting' period shortly after we first moved  
to Maryland. I was trying desperately to remember if Mom and  
Dad had replaced the mattress as I dragged the rusty old thing  
down the attic steps.   
Mom opened it up and sure enough, they hadn't gotten around to  
buying a new mattress. Mom looked a little contrite and patted my  
arm. "I have a mattress pad, Sweetheart." As she started into the  
hall she turned and added "and I think I have one of those vinyl  
mattress bags, too."   
I just smiled and nodded and tried not to break any molars in the  
back of my mouth.   
"I'll take the sleeper, Bill. No sense you being put out, it's your  
house, after all." This from Mulder, who was looking at the sleeper  
bed like it was a bed of nails. No, I think he probably would have  
preferred the bed of nails at that point.   
"No, no, Mulder. That's all right. Not a problem," I told him,  
hoping to convince both of us. "I'll be fine. Besides, Mom would  
never agree to you sleeping on the sleeper bed. You need the rest,  
remember."   
I didn't mean for that to sound so sarcastic, God, it just came out  
that way. At least he had the good grace to look a little on the  
contrite side, too.   
The mattress pad was one of those upside down eggshell things  
that, with a flannel sheet on top of it, didn't really feel that bad. As  
a matter of fact, it was pretty comfortable, if I didn't stop to think  
about Charlie for more than a second.   
We'd brought Mulder home directly from the restaurant, which  
meant he had no clothes to speak of. Mom found some old sweats  
Charlie had left behind in a drawer and although they were kind of  
ratty, they fit Mulder. At least he wouldn't have to sleep in his  
skivvies, something I didn't really want to witness. Finally, we  
were ready for bed.   
Mom came in after we'd climbed into our respective beds and stood  
at the doorway, looking a little unsure of herself. I think this was  
more than the 'slumber party' she'd envisioned when she'd first  
suggested it. To be honest, she was probably wondering if I'd been  
play acting for the evening and was going to wait until her back was  
turned before I smothered Mulder with his own pillow. Whatever  
she was thinking, she finally broke the silence.   
"Fox, are you still on any medicine? If so, I want to keep it down  
in the kitchen so I can make sure you're taking it."   
He got a sort of 'why me' look on his face and sighed. "I'm off the  
antibiotics, Mrs. Scully. I have some pain pills, but I really only  
take them if the pain is too much to sleep through."   
Mom considered that a moment. "Are you sure you don't want to  
take one now?"   
He shook his head. Poor guy, I would have sunk through the floor  
at this point. Or blown my top. He's a grown man, for Cripes  
sakes, why the third degree?   
"I'm fine, really, Mrs. Scully. Thanks for taking care of me, but all  
I really need to do right now is sleep."   
Mom smiled at him when she told us both good night, the same  
smile I remember from my own childhood. Whoa, wait a minute.  
It's bad enough I was giving this guy my sister, now I was handing  
over my own Mother, as well! Un hun, no way, time to regroup!   
But then, I remembered. Mom gave Tara that same look at the  
hospital the first night after Matty was born. Dad told me  
something the day of my wedding to Tara. Mom doesn't replace  
her children, she just collects new ones to go with the old. Like  
that gawdawful Girl Scout song Missy used to sing 24/7. Make  
new friends, but keep the old . . . I fell asleep listening to my other  
kid sister, singing that song in my head.   
And woke up to the sound of my own name, being repeated in a  
harsh, panicked voice over and over again.   
I hit the deck feet first, shouting "Battle stations" as loud as I could  
and then realized, there was carpet under my toes. No ship I've  
ever served on has had carpeting on the deck. It's sort of  
impractical. That one thought brought me to full wakefulness.   
It was dark. It was Missy's old room in Mom's house. The voice  
was coming from my sister's partner.   
In the darkness, only the light from a streetlight to go by, I could  
see Mulder, sitting straight up in bed, panting and wild eyed. He  
was still talking, but now it was low and hard to hear.   
"Scully, put the gun down . . . Don't listen to her, Scully, God,  
don't listen to her! Scully, you don't want to do this, you're  
stronger than this! God Scully!"   
Then he jerked and he half-screamed out my name again, which I  
now realized was actually my sister's name, and fell forward,  
sobbing.   
I was shaking like a leaf, just watching him. I walked around the  
sleeper bed and came to sit on the edge of the double bed. I put my  
hand out to touch his shoulder. "Mulder. C'mon, man, it's just a  
dream." Dream, my ass, it was a whopper of a nightmare, but I  
didn't think I needed to point that out to him. "Mulder, wake up."   
Slowly, with tears still streaming down his face, he sat up and  
looked at me. He got a really scared look and then it slowly just  
faded to confusion. "Bill?" he asked, his voice shuddering a little.   
I smiled at him, just to reassure the guy. "Yeah, Mulder. It's Bill.  
We're at my Mom's. Remember?"   
He wiped at his nose with the back of his hand and took a deep  
breath. "Your Mom's? Yeah, I remember now. I'm at your  
Mom's."   
"Right," I said nodding my head like an idiot. "You're safe, you're  
at Mom's."   
He got a wide eyed look again. "Scully," he said and threw the  
covers off to rush over to his pants on the floor. He fumbled  
around for a moment and cussed a blue streak then looked up at  
me. "Phone, where the hell is the phone?"   
"Uh, Mom has one in her room. And there's the one in the kitchen  
. . ." I was talking to thin air. The man can move, when he's on  
the warpath.   
I know it was an intrusion, but I followed him down to the kitchen.  
I got there right when Danie must have answered. I didn't mean to  
eavesdrop. OK, God, yeah, I did mean to eavesdrop, but I had  
been jolted out of a perfectly contented sleep, damn it and I  
deserved an explanation. I was pretty sure listening in was the only  
way I'd get one.   
"Scully," he said, sort of breathless. He closed his eyes for a  
second, then searched around the room, finally staring at the  
microwave. "Um, 2:45." My sister obviously wanted to know the  
time. I could have lived without that knowledge, myself.   
"No, no, it's not that. I'm fine, really. I just . . ." His voice trailed  
off and I could see him pacing the length of the kitchen. He  
couldn't see me in the dining room, or he really didn't give a shit, I  
don't know which.   
"Yeah, you could say it was bad," he sort of snorted. "Linda  
Bowman paid me a visit in my dreams." More pacing. "Yeah, I  
know, it didn't happen, but Scully, every time I have that dream I  
just relive what I saw. I mean, my God, I saw you . . . whether it  
was real or not, I saw you blow your brains out right in front of me  
and I couldn't do a fucking thing to prevent it." His voice was  
catching as he rushed the last words out and I felt like the world's  
biggest heel for standing there listening in on a private  
conversation.   
"God, I miss you," he sighed and wiped at his face. "I just want to  
hold you tonight. I don't even want to . . ." he trailed off and sort  
of chuckled at something she must have said. "No, I'm not 'tired  
of you', Scully. Not by a long shot. I just need you so bad." The  
guy was gonna throw up from the roller coaster his emotions were  
on.   
"I know. Yeah, well, I don't mind, really. Your Mom is sweet to  
worry about me. If this makes her feel better, I don't mind. God  
knows I've caused her enough pain . . ."   
In another time, I would have agreed with him. But now, I could  
see what that guilt was doing to him. For Danie's sake, I wish he'd  
just get over it and move on.   
"Bill's on the sleeper bed. . ." That got my attention. "Hey, I  
offered to sleep on the sofa _and_ then the sleeper and he refused.  
Said your mom would never stand for it." I crept closer to hear if  
my name would be further mentioned in vain at this point.   
"I don't know what's gotten into him, either, but I'm not  
complaining. He's not a bad guy, I guess. Still, I think I got the  
pick of the litter."   
I had to agree with that statement, too.   
"I love you, too. Yeah, that does sound nice to hear, doesn't it?"   
I took that as my cue to beat it up the stairs. By the time he made it  
up to the room, I was under the covers and doing a pretty good  
imitation of 'dead to the world' if I do say so myself. I heard him  
shift under the covers and punch the pillows a couple of times.  
Then he sighed once or twice and the room grew quiet.   
I hugged my pillow and missed my wife until morning came. 

===============================================

When I woke up, and really it was more like a light doze I'd been  
in, it was full morning and I was alone in the room. I tossed off the  
covers, hit the showers and felt almost human by the time I made it  
down to the kitchen for breakfast.   
Mom was standing at the stove, a spatula in her hand, staring at  
some eggs on the griddle. She looked up and smiled at me when I  
walked in.   
"Good morning, Sweetheart! Coffee's on the counter. How do  
you want your eggs?"   
"Over easy. Two of them, please. I'll make the toast." I reached  
in the bread drawer and discovered Mom had rearranged the  
kitchen again. I found the bread on the second try.   
"Toss in a couple for Fox, he's in the den watching the morning  
news," Mom advised me. Thank heavens she hadn't decided to  
trade in her four slice toaster. I made four slices, medium brown  
and buttered them before placing them on plates near Mom.  
"Thanks, sweetie," she said with a wink. "Go call Fox, the eggs are  
almost done."   
I walked into the den and found Mulder stretched out on the sofa,  
remote in his hand, sound asleep. I kicked at his foot and his eyes  
dragged open.   
"Wake up, barnacle. Breakfast is ready," I told him. He nodded  
and sort of rolled forward to a sitting position. He looked like  
death warmed over, definitely not like a guy who'd just gotten 9  
hours of sleep.   
"Be there in a minute," he said and hauled himself to his feet. He  
swayed a little and I grabbed his arm, sitting him back down again.   
"Are you OK, Mulder?" It wasn't a question, it was more of a  
demand for information. He sighed and shrugged.   
"I'm fine."   
"Bullshit," I told him. "You looked like something the cat hacked  
up."   
His eyes lit into a grin. "So _that's_ where Scully gets that  
expression."   
I glared him down. "Don't try to change the subject."   
He shook his head. "Genetics, it's a bitch," he sighed. "I'm OK,  
Bill, really. I just didn't sleep that well last night."   
"After the nightmare?" I asked him.   
He got a look on his face like I'd just revealed I had evidence that  
his father was a cross dresser. "I was hoping you forgot about it,"  
he muttered.   
"When somebody yells my name for five minutes just three feet  
from my ear, I tend to remember," I told him with as blank an  
expression as I could get.   
"Boys," we heard from the kitchen. "Boys, your eggs are getting  
cold."   
I groaned. 'Boys'? We're both over thirty-five, for Cripes sakes.   
Mulder perked up at her voice. "Saved by the Mom," he said and  
started off to the kitchen. "Right there, Mrs. Scully."   
I stood and stared at his back a moment. I was not going to let him  
deflect this. I knew I just couldn't watch him kill himself and still  
look myself in the mirror. Besides, Danie would think _I'd_ done it  
to him.   
After breakfast, Mom had a couple of things she needed help with,  
so I didn't really see much of Mulder. I do know that the one time  
I saw him, he was on the phone, talking to guess who? It's really  
unnerving to have a guy talking on the phone, whispering sweet  
nothings to you when you're standing right behind him. He keeps  
forgetting, my name is 'Scully', too.   
It's amazing. Tara can have a job jar that I barely look at, but when  
I'm at Mom's house, suddenly I'm putting up shelves, tightening  
the spring the screen door and putting a new curtain rod up in the  
'nursery', as if it's ever going to have furniture. After the  
nightmare of the previous night, I was seriously thinking of  
dragging down my Boy Scout sleeping bag and 'camping out' in  
there for the night. It was worth a thought, at least.   
By the time lunch was ready, I was ready. More than ready. I  
pulled up to that table and downed a full sandwich and a bowl of  
soup before I realized Mom was staring at Mulder.   
"Fox, please. Just another half a sandwich? You're skin and  
bones!"   
He was shaking his head, an indulgent smile on his face. "Mrs.  
Scully, I can't afford new suits. Please, I'm full. It was wonderful.  
Thank you." He sighed again and I noticed the dark circles under  
his eyes.   
Mom noticed too, apparently. "Well, why don't you lie down  
upstairs, try to get some rest. I have to go out this afternoon. The  
Altar Society has organized a quilting circle and they invited me to  
join them weeks ago. Will you be all right here?"   
"Mom, it's not like you're leaving the guy on the streets. I'm  
here," I pointed out. It's a testament to how far I've come that I,  
one, suggested that arrangement, two, didn't gag on the statement,  
and three, that Mom took me seriously.   
"You're absolutely right, dear. Where was my head. You two  
boys will be fine," she declared. Mulder didn't look too sure of that  
statement, but picked up his plate and carried it to the sink.   
Mulder sort of retreated to the den again, pulling out one of Mom's  
movies to pop in the VCR. After cleaning up the tools from the  
curtain rod, I decided to join him.   
"McClintock," I commented as I sat down in the big easy chair.  
Mulder had again commandeered the couch, but from the way he  
was looking, he needed to be lying down.   
"Yeah. Gotta love that mud fight scene," he said with a smile and  
we settled into silence, watching the movie.   
"So, you have those kinds of dreams a lot?" I asked.   
He groaned and threw his arm up over his eyes. "Bill, I don't think  
your Mom has enough beer in the refrigerator for us to have  
another 'conversation' like the one we had at your house," he told  
me from behind his arm.   
I laughed. "C'mon, Mulder. I asked all the hard questions last  
time. This is the easy stuff. Besides, . . . I'm a little worried about  
you. You look like shit today. You looked a lot better yesterday,"  
I told him.   
He dragged the arm down and gave me a sigh. "I had more sleep  
yesterday," he said and from his expression, I knew he was being  
up front with me.   
"So we dragged you away from Dana's apartment because you  
need rest and now you aren't getting any rest. Damn, that was a  
great idea," I said and meant every inch of the sarcasm I tossed on.   
He laughed a little. "No big deal. I'll be home in, what, three  
days." He sighed. Three days must have seemed like a life  
sentence to him.   
"You miss Dana," I said out loud, even though I had just had the  
thought.   
"I just talked to her," he told me, but by the look in his eyes, I'd hit  
the nail on the head.   
"Geez, you two are pathetic," I said, shaking my head.   
That caused a bristle out of my companion. "Look, it's not the sex,  
Bill. We've had sex _twice_ since we came back from San Diego.  
We aren't exactly breaking land speed records here!" He closed his  
eyes and sighed again, this time in disgust. "Besides, it's the  
holding that helps me sleep."   
"Spooning?" I asked. He shot me a look that showed how little he  
knew about this 'couples' stuff and I explained. "You lie on your  
side, she's 'spooned' up against your back. Or vice versa."   
He shrugged. "Sometimes. Mostly, I'm on my back, I sleep better  
that way, and she's curled up on my side with her head right here."  
He pointed to his 'good' shoulder, the one that wasn't mostly  
stitches. "I can move my head just a little and smell her perfume,"  
he was almost tearing up when he said it.   
"Tara buys her shampoo from some store at the mall . . ."   
"Bath and Body Works?" he interrupted.   
"Something like that," I told him. "It costs 6 bucks a bottle, but  
God, that smell." I close my eyes, trying to bring that smell to me.  
"It's like flowers blooming out your window in the summer. I love  
that smell."   
"A couple of years ago, Scully changed perfumes. I almost lost it.  
Actually, she almost killed me. She came back from this autopsy  
and she was walking around the office with her nose sort of  
screwed up. She said, what's the smell, it's like something died.  
And I said . . ."   
I couldn't help myself. "It's your perfume?"   
He nodded and I almost busted a gut laughing. "You have  
_always_ had a death wish, haven't you?"   
"It's a gift," he said with a shrug. "But then I went to the store on  
my lunch hour and let this woman squirt about fifty of those sample  
bottles on little pieces of paper until I found the right one."   
"And you bought her a bottle of it," I said proudly.   
"Hell, no. I bought the whole damned line!" he declared.  
"Perfume, body mist, bubbling bath beads, body lotion. If they'd  
had a shampoo, I would have bought that, too. Cost a bundle. But  
by the next day, things were back to normal."   
"Good man," I congratulated him. We fell back into silence, but  
my mind was going a mile a minute. I knew what needed to  
happen. I just had to figure out the details.   
Well, the devil is in the details, God. You know that. And this was  
no less the case. The first part was easy. Well, sort of easy. I  
picked up the phone and called my sister.   
Dana was a little surprised to hear my voice. "What's wrong?  
What did you do to him?"   
"I didn't _do_ anything to him and why do you keep thinking I'm  
going to?" I demanded.   
"Because I know you, Bill. You've been acting really funny lately.  
Like you're beginning to like Mulder or something. I know you're  
just lulling us into a false sense of security before you put Tabasco  
in his applesauce or some other famous 'Bill Scully prank'."   
Ouch. It's a real pain when you fight with someone who knows all  
your little foils. I admit, at one time, that would have seemed a  
great idea. But I'm a reformed jerk. I'm trying to make amends.  
I'm trying to be good.   
"Danie, cut it out. I'm not planning anything. OK, maybe I am, but  
not a bad thing. A good thing." I then went on to explain about  
my little 3 am wake up call. Of course, she knew most of it, but the  
fact that I was telling her all of it really hammered in the point.   
"So what are you saying, Bill? That I should come to Mom's and  
sleep with Mulder in the big bed so he can get the rest he needs,"  
she snorted over the phone.   
"Something like that."   
My tone must have gotten her attention. "He really didn't sleep last  
night?"   
"Not after 2:45, he didn't," I told her.   
"Damn it. And I suppose he doesn't have his sleeping pills with  
him."   
"Danie, he doesn't need to be doped up. He needs some . . . TLC.  
That is what he's here for, isn't it?"   
"He'd _have_ TLC, Bill, if he were sleeping at my place, where he  
belongs." OK, so she had a point but beating a dead horse wasn't  
going to get us anywhere.   
"Look, do you want to help the guy out or what?" I demanded.  
"He _is_ your boyfriend."   
"Partner," she corrected.   
"Dana."   
"OK, OK, I get the point." She was quiet for a moment. "Mom is  
going to suspect something."   
"We'll tell her that your apartment is being fumigated," I said  
brilliantly.   
"We're on a schedule. They did it last month, and I stayed with her  
then," she replied.   
"Your heat went out."   
"It's not that cold yet."   
I thought for a moment, then it hit me. The perfect excuse. "You  
flushed a tampon down the toilet and the super says he can't get to  
it till tomorrow!" I _knew_ that one would work because Tara had  
done that in our last apartment and in desperation, I'd fixed the  
damn thing myself. If they'd just let me on my ship . . .   
She was quiet, real quiet. "Actually, that might work," she finally  
admitted.   
"Great. I'll lay the groundwork. You just show up about seven  
with a packed bag. Let me do the rest."   
I hung up the phone, rather pleased with myself. Then it dawned  
on me. The hard part was yet to come. 

================================================= 

I don't know which of us were more nervous, Mulder or me. It  
was almost six-thirty and Dana had called about an hour before  
with her sob story of the clogged toilet. Mom had verbally chewed  
her a new one for being so irresponsible, she'd lived in base housing  
for years, she should have known better, yadda, yadda and so on  
and so on. I couldn't help but smile a little, it was nice to hear  
Dana get the 'evil voice' for once, but then I realized little sister  
would focus her attention on evening the score and I got a little  
worried. Danie's always been pretty good at getting even.   
Mulder, on the other hand, just wanted Dana there. Mom had  
come back from the quilting bee with a whole armful of vitamins  
and nutritional supplements from the GNC at the Mall and more or  
less pried the poor guy's mouth open, then poured it all down him.  
It made me gag just to watch. And the really sad part was Mulder  
sitting there, obviously feeling like shit, but still being nice enough  
to go along with Mom's 'doctoring'. I may have blamed him for a  
lot of stuff before, but nobody deserves that kind of treatment.   
When we heard the door open and a gust of cold air in the hallway,  
I thought he was going to trip over himself getting to his feet. He  
started off to the hallway, but Mom had cut him off at the pass and  
was coming the other way from the dining room. He skidded to a  
halt. It would have been funny, if it had been some romantic  
comedy on HBO. He was standing there, his arms twitching at his  
sides, jumping out of his skin to take my sister in a big hug and  
probably an X rated kiss, but my mother was there, so the best he  
could do was a "Hi, Scully. How was your day?"   
Dana took off her coat and hung it in the closet. She turned and  
gave Mom a quick hug, then finally looked at her partner. I could  
see it took every second of those two minutes for her to restrain  
herself from throwing the guy down on the floor and doing porn  
video-worthy activities on Mom's thick beige carpeting.   
"Hi, Mulder. How are you feeling?"   
He licked his lips. She licked hers. Never saw a remote kiss  
before, but that was as close as anyone is going to get.   
"Fine." They said it in unison.   
I had to hold back a groan, and get my mother out of there before  
they broke something. "Mom, what's cookin'? Can I give you a  
hand in the kitchen?"   
Suddenly, everyone's looking at me like I've sprouted wings. I felt  
the need to defend my manhood. "Hey, I did a tour in the kitchen,  
you know. I can cook," I said confidently.   
"I'll let you cut up the vegetables for the salad," Mom said with a  
smirking kind of grin. As if to say that's the most she expected out  
of me.   
I would have taken offense at that, but my intent was to remove my  
mother from the scene and since she was now heading to the  
kitchen under a full head of steam, my mission was accomplished. I  
flashed Mulder a thumbs up, a grin to my sis, and I followed Mom.  
I didn't drag my feet, mind you, but I wasn't two steps away when  
I heard clothes rustling and lips smacking together and soft  
moaning and it made me grin all the way into the kitchen.   
Dinner was delicious, but then, my Mom was the chef. I love my  
wife, and she's a whiz in the kitchen, but give me my Mom's beef  
stew everyday of the week and I'd be a happy man.   
I was pleasantly surprised to notice that Mulder was a member of  
the clean plate club. I think Dana had more than a little influence in  
that area. Every time I noticed his fork starting to sag, Dana would  
reach under the table, squeeze his knee, and suddenly, he was Mike  
Mulligan and the steam shovel. Guess he was thinking he needed  
the energy.   
I chewed a little slower and decided I was going to have to come  
up with a very good plan.   
After dinner, Dana and I did the dishes. She washed, I dried and  
for the first time in _my_ memory, we didn't fight. Life was going  
pretty good.   
"So, Einstein, how are we going to work the sleeping  
arrangements?" she asked as she scrubbed out the roasting pan.   
"You stake out the couch in the den, then, after Mom's asleep, I  
come down and switch places. Piece of cake."   
"Unless Mom gets restless in the middle of the night," Dana pointed  
out.   
"I'll huddle down in the covers. With the blanket, in the dark, one  
body looks like another," I countered and smacked her on the  
backside. "Don't be such a worry wort."   
And God, that's when you got involved. Not that you aren't  
always involved in the workings of the universe, but apparently,  
things on cable just weren't making it for you that night, and you  
decided to get some jollies messin' with ole Bill Scully.   
Unfortunately for one of Mom's good glasses, I was drying it when  
Mom entered the kitchen. "Bill, Dana," she said, all breathless and  
excited. "Look who's here!"   
The glass shattered just seconds after I looked at the doorway and  
saw the smiling face . . . of my baby brother.   
"Charlie!" Dana squealed. What a little shit, she was washing a  
fork and they don't break, especially when they're just dropped in  
water. She turned to go over to Charlie, but I grabbed her arm  
before she stepped on my mess.   
"Dana, watch the glass," Mom commanded and went to grab the  
dustpan and broom.   
Dana stepped over the glass and I just stood there, mouth open.  
"What the hell are you doing here?" I didn't mean it to come out  
quite like that, but hell, I was just a little surprised.   
"Glad to see you, too, Big Bro," Charlie laughed.   
I felt the flush rise in my cheeks. "Sorry, Charlie," I said in the tone  
I'd used when we were kids. "You just surprised me. I thought  
you were working out of Penobscott Bay these days."   
"I had a meeting down here at the Joint Chiefs. I just found out this  
morning and to be honest, I didn't expect to have to stay in town  
long. I was going to give Mom a call, but the meeting ran long  
and when it got extended to tomorrow, I figured I'd just come on  
home. Hey, is that stew I smell? Did you guys leave any, I'm  
starving." Same old Charlie, the bottomless pit.   
Mom laughed and it was good to hear. "Of course, I always make  
enough to feed the fleet, you know that. I just figured Bill and Fox  
could finish it off at lunch tomorrow."   
"Fox? As in Mulder?" Charlie shot me a look. The last time we'd  
talked, I was still in my 'Fox Mulder is the anti-Christ' phase. Oh,  
shit. I had a lot of damage control to do.   
"That's, right, Sweetheart, I forgot," Mom piped up. "You've  
never met him. He's in the den, resting."   
"Resting," Charlie said evenly and I could see him coming up with a  
few ideas on how to 'help' Mulder rest that would have made me  
proud in an earlier era, but were now scaring the hell out of me.   
"Charlie," I jumped in. "A couple of weeks ago, Mulder . . .  
Mulder was shot in the line of duty. He stepped in front of a  
gunman who was aiming at Dana. Took a bullet in the chest."   
That took some of the wind out of his sails. "I had no idea."   
I hated the hurt look he was giving me, that look like I was keeping  
something from the 'little brother' again. "They were in San Diego  
at the time. That's the only reason I know so much about it."   
Dana took over at that point. "I'm sorry, Charlie-man," she said,  
taking him into a sisterly hug. "I've been so busy, getting back to  
work and taking care of Mulder, that I sort of forgot to call you  
about it. But it's OK. He needs to rest for a couple more weeks  
and then he'll be back tossing pencils at the ceiling to see if they  
stick. I'm just glad you're here and you two finally get a chance to  
meet. He thinks you're a figment of my imagination," she  
chuckled.   
As she led Charlie arm in arm out of the room, I just knew the night  
had gotten a whole lot longer. 

================================================= 

This started out as pre confession confession, God and it's turning  
into my memoirs, but I swear, from the point Charlie walked in the  
house, the whole place went to hell in a hand basket, in a manner of  
speaking.   
Charlie was angry and hurt that I had obviously started to 'side'  
with the enemy without telling him. That was a major laugh to  
begin with because he's always been the one telling _me_ I should  
give the guy a break. I think he was just feeling like the odd man  
out and nothing pisses off the youngest member of the family more  
than being out of the loop. At the risk of the entire project, and  
that's how I'd started thinking of the evening's sleeping  
arrangements, I was going to have to let the little shit in on  
everything. And then figure out how to duct tape his mouth shut so  
he didn't tell either Mom or Dana that he knew what was going on.   
But all that would have to wait until after the introductions. We  
walked into the den to find Mulder sprawled on the sofa. Poor guy,  
with the little sleep he'd gotten during the night and me pounding  
nails and revving up the drill all day, he was one tuckered puppy.   
Dana got all warm and fuzzy, went over and sort of knelt next to  
the couch. She was watching him sleep. God, I wonder if Tara had  
any idea how often I used to do that when she'd take her afternoon  
nap while we were waiting for Matty to make his appearance. I  
couldn't get enough of watching my wife, lying on our bed or on  
the sofa, her face rounded as much as her belly. It still makes me  
feel kinda tingling inside. A definite masculine tingling, mind you,  
God, but tingling, none the less.   
Dana had an expression on her face, and I'll be damned if it didn't  
seem a lot like the expression I've had on my face. Sort of a 'thank  
you' expression. Like we're both thanking you, God, for bringing  
these people into our lives.   
Then she reached over and stroked his cheek with just one finger.  
Shit! I figured that was a dead give away to both Mom and Charlie  
and had to hold back a shout, but Mulder's eyes fluttered open and  
he gave her this smile that told the universe 'I love this woman with  
all my heart'. Shit again! Why don't they just take out a full page  
ad in the Sunday NYTimes?   
I looked over at Mom, but she seemed to be studying the mantel of  
the fireplace. Charlie had his mouth open and I reached over and  
knocked it shut with the knuckles of my fist. He glared and started  
to say something but I grunted out a near silent 'later' and he shut  
up, but still pouted.   
Mulder seemed to come around to the fact he and Dana weren't the  
only ones in the room. He shot her a look and they both sort of,  
well, just 'distanced' themselves. Just like two soap bubbles that  
get stuck together and then become individuals again. I know a lot  
about soap bubbles now, because Matty has taught me when I give  
him his bath.   
"Don't tell me this is the infamous brother Charlie?" Mulder said  
hoarsely and Dana helped him sit up on the sofa. He started to get  
up, but it was obvious that was painful. I was really proud of my  
little brother when he moved over and extended his hand to Mulder,  
so the guy didn't have to get up.   
"I've heard a lot about you, Agent Mulder. It's good to put a face  
with the stories," Charlie smiled and I started breathing again. The  
little shit probably does great with the brass at the five sided  
building.   
"Charlie's here for a meeting. Imagine our luck," Dana said and I  
was pretty certain her teeth were clenched, but I was the only one  
who seemed to notice.   
"Well, I can see the family resemblance, so I guess you must be the  
'real' Charles Scully," Mulder said, intentionally ignoring Dana's  
comment, or so I could determine by the way he squeezed her hand  
without looking her way. "How are things up in Maine?"   
>From that point on, it just got too 'chit-chatty' for me and I went  
into the kitchen to finish the clean up job on the glass I broke.  
Mom came in a few minutes later and started some coffee. I  
thought all was well until I felt her hand on my arm.   
"I want a moment with you, Bill."   
Panic. Sheer, undiluted panic hit my stomach. In the space of ten  
seconds, my whole life flashed before my eyes. Those were the  
same seven words Mom had used when she confronted me with the  
motel receipt so many years ago.   
"Mom, um, the coffee. Shouldn't we get the coffee out there?  
Charlie's probably thirsty. Oh, wait, I don't think he's had dinner,  
either . . ." I was babbling. I knew it, she knew and it wasn't going  
to help me one iota.   
"William Dennis, be quiet and listen to me."   
I've had Admirals get less attention than I was giving the woman  
standing in front of me. No wonder Dad used to say he wasn't the  
head of the house, he was only the XO.   
"Your sister has every right to make her own friends. I know you  
haven't always approved of her working relationship with Fox, but  
it is her decision. Now, I've been sensing a lot of tension between  
you and your sister, ever since she walked in that door this evening.  
And that little display when Charlie got here. What was that all  
about?" she demanded.   
I stood there, totally unprepared for this attack. Mom had it all  
wrong. She thought I was up to something, but she was way off  
target on _what_ I was up to.   
"Mom, you're imagining things," was all I could come up with.  
"Dana and I are fine. I'm fine with her and fine with her  
relationship with Mulder."   
Mom raised an eyebrow. What had I just said?   
"Partnership! I meant to say her _partnership_ with Mulder. I  
mean, yeah, sure, I wish she'd decided to go anywhere else but the  
FBI, but as long as she's there, I think Mulder will continue to look  
out for her. I mean, Mom, for God's sakes, he took a bullet in the  
chest for her! That's more than we could ask for, wouldn't you  
say?"   
Mom's eyebrow lowered but her gaze narrowed. "Yes, I would  
say it's more than we could ask for. That's what I've been saying  
for five years, Bill and I'm just glad you finally see what I'm talking  
about. But I still get the feeling you are up to something and I'm  
going to find out what it is. Just a warning."   
She picked up the coffee pot and grabbed some mugs. "And don't  
hit your brother again, either."   
I was dazed, standing there. I didn't move for a long time. Finally,  
Charlie came in. I let out a sigh of relief.   
"What the hell is going on here?"   
Great. More demands.   
"Charlie, look, I know what you're thinking and you're wrong.  
There isn't much time . . ."   
"You mean Dana and Mulder aren't shacking up and you're in on it  
and you're all keeping it from Mom?" he asked, a perplexed look  
on his face.   
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow, but he kept talking.   
"What? You think I chose 'intelligence' because of the office  
furniture? Besides, you can _smell_ the pheromone in that room.  
How long have they been at it? Can't be too long, they still both  
look dewy eyed."   
I needed a chair. I was barely able to get to the kitchen table. I  
didn't think I could talk but I had to.   
"Not long. I think they've really only been at it once or twice."   
"Well, the guy did look pretty bad. Man, Dana must be something,  
banging a guy that close to a hospital bed. But then, there was that  
guy in med school . . ."   
"What guy in med school?" Now it was my turn to demand.  
"There wasn't any guy in med school! She was a cloistered nun in  
med school!"   
Charlie just gave me the same look I get from Tara when I say  
something monumentally stupid. "Bill. There were about four guys  
in med school. One was a prof, but she wasn't in any of his classes  
and it didn't last long. It's only been in the last five years that our  
sister has been a 'cloistered nun'. But I figured something was up.  
The dam had to break sometime. I'm just glad the poor sap didn't  
get killed before they figured it out."   
I shook my head. Somewhere, in all that, I agreed with the little  
shit. But I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of telling him.   
"So, anyway, what _are_ you up to?"   
This was going to be harder than I thought. "Mulder needs to rest.  
He was in bad shape in San Diego . . ."   
"Then maybe Dana shouldn't be doin' the horizontal bop on the  
guy," Charlie said with a smirk. I wanted to wipe that smirk off on  
the floor, so he'd shut up and listen to what I had to say.   
"No, it's not like that. He needs to rest and he can't do that by  
himself."   
"Yeah, right," Charlie said. God, I'd forgotten what an annoying  
little shit he could be.   
"No, he has these nightmares. They're pretty gruesome. And the  
only way he can calm down is to . . ."   
"Screw our sister?" Charlie's grin was getting entirely too big for  
his little snot nosed face.   
"Would you just shut up!" I yelled, then realized we weren't the  
only ones in the house and quickly lowered my voice. "He just  
needs her to hold him. They don't have to _do_ anything. Just  
hold each other. You know, or at least I _hope_ you know how  
that is," I added in exasperation.   
Charlie turned serious. "Yeah, I know how that is," he said and I  
could see the many hours at sea, away from the one person who  
makes your sorry life worthwhile reflected in his eyes. "OK, so  
what do I need to do?"   
"Go along with whatever I come up with," I told him.   
He looked a little suspicious of that, but shrugged and headed out  
for the den. I sat thinking for a few minutes. How could this  
work? We had two bedrooms, a total of three beds and now we  
had five people crammed in the house. Hell, maybe Tara would  
take me up on the offer of coming out while I was on leave and  
we'd have the whole damned family here!   
I had to press down the hysterical laughter that just didn't want to  
go away.   
Rational thought. That's what I needed. To be rational. OK, how  
would Mom work this? Charlie is the youngest and did show up  
last, so Mom, in her infinite wisdom, would relegate him to the  
couch in the den. Mulder and I would again take the beds in  
Missy's/Charlie's old room and she and Dana would . . .   
Oh shit. She and Dana would share her room! It was bad enough  
when I was just swapping places with Dana on the couch in the  
den. Now I had to figure out how to get Dana out of a bed that  
Mom was sleeping in, and not wake up Mom. Mom's not exactly a  
light sleeper, she slept through Mulder's little scare-fest, but even  
she would wake up with people jumping in and out of her own bed.   
I was sitting there, trying to think of a way to drug my Mother into  
a deep slumber, when Dana came in.   
"Why were you yelling at Charlie?"   
"Because he's a snot nosed idiot, what else is new?" I asked as I  
rubbed my forehead and got up to rummage through the cabinets.  
"Mom got any aspirin in here? Or whiskey?"   
"You told him," she accused, her voice low like she'd known I was  
a screw up all along.   
"Didn't have to," I shot back. "You two were 'screwin' each other  
with your eyes out there. He caught on a mile away. He knows  
everything."   
"He'll tattle. He always tattles," she pouted, and she probably  
didn't even realize she was a 35 year old woman talking about her  
kid brother 'tattling' on her.   
"Maybe not. He's willing to go along with it. Remember, you  
were in med school when Charlie discovered the opposite sex. We  
aren't talking celibacy on his part, either," I assured her.   
Dana shrugged, like she wanted to argue but was too tired and  
worried to give it the effort. "I'm going out there and tell her that  
with all these people in the house, Mulder can come over to my  
place and I'll keep an eye on him there," she said, watching me  
pour a nice shot into my glass and slam it back in one gulp.   
"Oh, yeah. And she isn't going to think that's an excuse for you  
two to be up to something?" I asked, wiping my mouth on my  
sleeve and going for another.   
"I've done it before. When he's been really sick, coming back from  
a bad case or an injury. He slept in my bed, I slept on the sofa.  
Mom knows about it because she stopped by one time and woke  
me up. So she wouldn't be suspicious."   
"Fine," I told her. I was sick of the whole thing anyway. The idea  
that Dana could get herself out of this mess she'd made was worthy  
of another shot of whiskey. "Don't let the screen door hit you in  
the ass on the way out," I smiled at her.   
She flipped me the bird and smiled back. I turned to my drink, but  
she called my name and I looked up.   
"I just wanted to say 'thanks'. I know this can't have been easy for  
you, and well, I appreciate the trouble you've taken." The smile  
she gave me was one I'd missed seeing, even though I hadn't  
realized it.   
"Hey, don't sweat it. Besides, now you're 'his' worry, and not  
mine," I said. She started to say something, probably to tell me that  
she hadn't been 'my' worry for a very long time, but, God love her,  
she didn't. She just smiled and left me sitting there with my half  
poured drink.   
I was ready to put the bottle back, thinking that things were getting  
back to normal. Charlie was here, he and I could talk shop a little.  
Mom would eventually want to watch ER, and we'd have to go  
somewhere other than the den so we didn't disturb her and  
Anthony Edwards. Dana would take Mulder back to her place and  
they could hump like bunnies or sleep curled up like kittens for all I  
cared. I'd call Tara about midnight and tell her how much I missed  
her. Life would be good, calm, peaceful.   
And then came the crash. 

============================================= 

I don't know why you chose that exact moment, God. I mean, the  
old silver maple tree in the front yard had been threatening to split  
since we moved into the place. The first words out of Dad's mouth  
when our car pulled up in front was 'Maggie, we have to have that  
tree removed soon or it's gonna split and hit a car'. Well, Mom  
had a few other things to attend to, like getting us all in school and  
putting the house in order and Dad shipped out a week later, and  
somehow, the old tree stood up for all that time.   
Until the least opportune moment, when it split right down the  
middle and crunched Charlie's rental car. Not to mention,  
successfully trapping all the other cars in the double driveway.   
I gotta tell you, God, I'm counting on you to take a few 'points' off  
my sins. I mean, you were obviously setting me up. At least a few  
of my transgressions could be chalked up to entrapment. But I  
guess I'll have to wait to see if it counts.   
Anyway, Dana was the first out the door, followed by Charlie,  
Mom and Mulder. Since I was the furthest from the crash site, it  
took me the longest to get there.   
The tree was a complete loss. And the car, well, I sure hope  
Charlie took out that extra 9 dollars a day that would cover the  
deductible on his insurance. The five of us turned back into the  
house and Charlie started making phone calls.   
He joined us in the den. "They city said the tree is on our property  
and since there's no real storm to account for the crash, it's our  
responsibility to remove it," he said sadly. "And Budget said the  
soonest they can be out is tomorrow morning."   
We were trapped.   
Dana sighed, Mulder gave me a sad smile and shook his head.  
Charlie looked like he was going to start crying.   
Mom looked around the room and decided to cheer us all up.  
"Hey, enough of this. It's not the end of the world! It's a car, no  
one was injured. We're safe and we're home. I've got an idea.  
Why don't you break out the cards and play a game or two?"   
Dana looked at the clock and rolled her eyes to me, we silently  
noted it was about 15 minutes to ER. "Sure, Mom. That's a great  
idea."   
Suddenly, we're in a game of five card stud in the kitchen. Playing  
for stale pretzels that Danie found in the back of the pantry. And  
all eyes turned toward me.   
"So, Bro, how are we working this 'musical beds' thing tonight?"  
Charlie asked innocently.   
Mulder choked on his iced tea. "Musical beds?"   
Dana sighed and gave me a look that spoke of piano wire and  
Columbian neckties. The woman has violence on her mind far too  
often for my tastes.   
"Face it, you two need some time together." There, that should  
have ended discussion.   
"I'm fine," Mulder said sullenly. Christ, oh, uh, sorry, God, I mean,  
shit, I was trying to help the guy and he was taking offence?   
I was about to tell him that I was tired of hearing him holler my  
name out in the middle of the night when Danie took his hand on  
top of the table.   
"I've missed you," she said simply. He melted, right there and then.  
It took them a minute to acknowledge the rest of us on the planet,  
but when they did, Mulder looked to Charlie.   
"You know," he said to Charlie. Charlie shrugged and then  
nodded.   
"I was starting to think one or the other of you was gay," he added  
with a grin.   
I groaned. "Geez, Charlie, get some manners!" At that both Dana  
and Mulder looked at me with the same astonished expressions and  
broke out laughing.   
"But back to business, how are we working this tonight?" Charlie  
asked again.   
"We aren't," Mulder replied.   
"We are," I said, a bit forcefully, maybe, but it was for the guy's  
own good.   
"Bill. This is your mother's house. I'm not sleeping with your  
sister without benefit of marriage while I'm a guest in her house.  
Talk about manners," he muttered as he went back to his cards.   
"Mulder. I didn't say you two could have an orgy," I replied,  
drawing his attention back to the topic. "I think you need sleep.  
And so does Dana. You admitted that you do that better when you  
two are in close contact. She can sleep on the goddammed sleeper  
bed for all I care, but at least she'll be in the same room."   
That seemed to settle it. Now it was time to lay out the battle plan.  
God, at Annapolis, we studied the battle of Midway. It was a  
blueprint for the aggressive capture of a decisive naval victory. I am  
not bragging when I say those planners had nothing on the four of  
us.   
Mulder, it was decided, would go to bed first (before ER ended),  
but only after Dana checked his temp and pulse and basically felt  
him up. Of course, I wasn't going to tell her that's what it sounded  
like to me. I would go up next, claiming exhaustion after a day of  
hammering and drilling. Next, Dana would feign some level of  
tiredness. By this time, Mom would probably see the yawns Charlie  
would attempt to look casual and go off to bed herself.   
An hour after Mom went to bed was about our best guess for when  
she would be in REM sleep. I know, it was an inexact  
measurement, based on some stupid sleep study of middle aged  
women in London that Mulder had participated in while at Oxford,  
but it was the best we could come up with.   
At that time, Dana was going to get out of bed. If Mom woke up,  
or even moved, Dana was to go to the bathroom, get a glass of  
water and come right back to bed to try our little switch an hour  
later. She would turn the hall light on and then off again, to alert  
the others of the change in plans.   
If Mom didn't move, however, Dana was to come to the room  
Mulder and I were inhabiting. Since I would still be awake, I  
would relinquish the room to my sister and her, um, partner. Then  
I would go down to the den where I would tell Charlie it was time  
to move out.   
Here is where the plan got a little tricky. Charlie, since he is about  
60 pounds lighter than I am, was to go up to Mom's room, and  
climb into bed, pretending to be Dana. Now, when they're asleep,  
if it weren't for the short hair on one of them, Dana and Charlie  
_do_ look a hell of a lot alike. It might not fool Mom when she  
was fully awake, but in the dead of night, when she was basically  
asleep, it might work. That's what we were hoping for, of course.   
But that wasn't the end of the evening. We couldn't have the light  
of day hit our little 'rearrangement'. We had to 'regroup' before  
Mom woke up and found us. And I had a plan for that, too.   
I have a really cool watch that Tara bought me for Christmas. It  
has all these gadgets, including an alarm, which is pretty loud for a  
little watch. I set the alarm for 5 in the morning. I might not be  
able to get Mulder a full eight hours of his 'snuggle' time, but I  
figured getting him five hours might just push him over the  
nightmare hump and he could get the rest he needed. At 5 bells, I  
was to get up, go roust Dana, who would then relieve Charlie and  
Mom would wake up promptly at 6:15 as she's done since before I  
was born, never to be the wiser.   
Great plan, huh?   
Too bad it didn't work, huh? 

======================================== 

Oh, but it really looked like it was going to, God. I mean, really,  
really work. The first part went off without a hitch. Dana did her  
little 'impromptu' exam and then came downstairs. I could tell she  
was worried when she sort of slumped down in one of the  
armchairs. I made sure Mom was occupied with some medical  
drama unfolding on the screen so that I could sneak a word with  
her.   
"So?"   
"He's exhausted, Billy. He was doing so well at my place. I mean,  
he'd improved to the point I felt like I could go out of town on that  
case for VCS. But he hardly slept while I was gone apparently, and  
then when we got home . . ."   
"Homecoming's a bitch," I commiserated with a smirk. "They're  
great, but they can also be a bitch."   
I got a kick out of the fact that she actually blushed as she smiled at  
me and nodded in agreement. "Then, well, last night he didn't  
sleep, either. That's almost a week without any real rest. Sure,  
he's not doing anything much, but his body needs the serotonin that  
only sleep brings. If this keeps up, he'll be back in the hospital  
before the weekend and he'll really be pissed at me if I let that  
happen."   
"Then we'll make sure he _sleeps_ tonight," I told her in a whisper.  
"Think you can keep your mitts to yourself?" I teased.   
She gave me a very evil eye. "I've been the picture of restraint for  
five years. One night, I can handle," she assured me confidently.   
And so we all went to bed. At the time, I was congratulating  
myself on exactly how well planned it was and how everything was  
going off without a hitch. I know, God. You looked down and  
saw a man in serious need of a humbling experience. I guess, on  
some level, I should thank you for that.   
At exactly 12:03, Dana made her way into our room. I have to  
hand it to her, if I weren't looking for her arrival, I wouldn't have  
heard her enter. Must be all the training, but she was like a ghost.  
Not there one minute, there the next. I got out of the little sleeper  
bed and started for the door. Before I got all the way there, she  
reached out and grabbed my arm, giving it a squeeze.   
"Thanks, Billy. I owe you, big time."   
I wanted to tell her, no you don't. You don't owe me anything  
because I've been a complete and total shit to your partner, and  
you, for the last several years. But at that moment, God, well,  
looking in her eyes, I remembered what absolution really feels like.  
And promised myself that I'd make it to confession sooner than  
every other decade. Forgiveness is just too good to pass up.   
I hesitated at the door and watched her crawl under the covers.  
Mulder had originally intended to stay awake until she arrived, but  
his body had other ideas. Even though he looked sound asleep, I  
saw him reach out the moment her weight hit the mattress. His  
arms went around her and she snuggled up against his chest, just as  
he'd described to me earlier in the day. He sighed, and a tiny smile  
formed on his face. I couldn't see Dana face from where she'd  
burrowed into his shoulder but she appeared to have just melted  
into place around him. I closed the door, missing Tara more than  
anything.   
After giving Charlie the go ahead, I could have just laid down to  
catch some winks. But I knew that Tara would have Matty in bed  
and it was the perfect time to call her.   
Tara and I talked for half an hour. Thank heavens I reversed the  
charges. We talked about Matty and about Mom. She asked about  
Mulder and I sort of slipped and let her know that _I_ would be  
collecting on our bet. Hey, since Charlie knew, why should I keep  
Tara in the dark?   
And then I told her how much I missed her. I decided right then, it  
was just too much effort to stay with Mom. I would go home to  
San Diego in the morning and hope my Commanding Officer didn't  
find out.   
What can I say, God? Tara's voice relaxes me. It sounds like such  
an insult to say that her voice puts me to sleep, but it does. It's got  
this soothing quality and after hearing it, I just want to grab a  
pillow and dream. Dream of her. Dream of her shoulders and her  
back and her hands and her face and her lips and . . . well, you get  
the point.   
So I plead temporary insanity. I'm insanely in love with my wife.  
Which is how I managed to sleep through the alarm. Which is how  
I found myself opening my eyes to find my mother and my very  
contrite little brother staring down at me where I was positioned on  
the couch.   
"I want to know exactly what you think you were doing, William  
Dennis Scully, and I want to know now!"   
Charlie had the good sense to run off to the showers. Mom had  
already given him an earful before they came to wake me up. I  
stood up, straightened my shoulders, licked my lips and prepared to  
take my punishment.   
"It's all my fault, Mom. I set it up. But they are two consenting  
adults, and they have little enough quiet in their lives. They need  
each other. If you have a problem with that, I understand, but I  
think if you'll remember what it was like to be young and in love . .  
."   
That was when she burst out laughing. Well, it was more of a  
giggle. But it was enough to make her sit down and wave me to sit  
with her.   
"Bill. You would think I just caught _you_ upstairs asleep with  
Tara in your arms." Then she gave me a raised eyebrow. "But it  
would have been in a motel room, wouldn't it?"   
My lip still hurts from where I bit into it. But I didn't say a word.   
"Bill, all this was really unnecessary, you know."   
"It was?" I asked, not sure where she was headed.   
"I've known about Fox and Dana for, well, since they arrived home  
from San Diego."   
"But Mom, they were certain that you didn't . . ."   
"Don't ask, don't tell isn't a new concept, dear. It just took the  
military a while to pick it up."   
"Dana wanted me to keep it quiet, but Mulder can't sleep without  
her, and he really needs to sleep, Mom or he's gonna end up back  
in the hospital and he really hates hospitals, I know . . ."   
Mom put her hand up to stop me. "Why doesn't Dana want me to  
know? That's all the information I need."   
"Because she feels that if you know, they should tell Mrs. Mulder  
and they seem to think that might be a, well, a security risk," I told  
her.   
Mom blew a breath out. I knew from experience that meant she  
was thinking. Finally she nodded, almost like she'd been having a  
conversation in her head.   
"When your brother gets out of the shower, go in and wake up  
Dana. Try not to wake up Fox. I'll go back into the bedroom and  
pretend to be asleep." She glanced at her watch. "It's not even  
seven bells. We can still pull this off."   
So see, God, that's how I forced my mother to lie to my sister to  
protect my sister from her lover's, oh, sorry, partner's mother  
finding out that the two of them . . .   
Oh, hell, you were there, you know what it was about.   
I felt almost guilty waking up Dana. She looked so cute, all curled  
up around Mulder. He definitely looked 'dead to the world'. I  
wanted to check his pulse, but Dana placed a kiss on his mouth  
before she crawled out of bed and he smiled a goofy little smile in  
his sleep.   
"How's he doing?" I asked, more to keep her from noticing the  
time, then anything.   
"Better. This really helped, I think. His breathing got better as the  
night progressed, his color is better than it was last night. Pulse is  
steady. Heart and lungs sound real good this morning."   
"You would know," I grinned at her. She hit me in the arm, but  
grinned back, just the same.   
She looked over her shoulder down the hall and to the window  
there. "Mom overslept?"   
"A little. We're in luck. Get in there quick, before she wakes up."   
"Or I could say I woke up to shower and get to work?" she  
suggested.   
"That would work. And it wouldn't be a lie."   
She looked at me thoughtfully. "I really do hate lying to her, Billy.  
I would love to tell her all about us. I know she would be thrilled."   
"You're right. She would be," I smiled. Irony. It's truly  
something to behold. Keeps your life hopping, I guess. "Hey, I'm  
headin' home today."   
"Missing Tara?" Dana asked with a knowing smile.   
"Very much. How will you handle tonight?"   
"That one's easy. Mulder has an early doctor's appointment at  
GUMC tomorrow. I'll just tell Mom that I'll crash on his bed." At  
my questioning look she laughed. "He sleeps on his couch. Mom  
knows that."   
By breakfast, we were all in pretty good moods. Mulder made it  
down about 8:15, looking like a new man.   
"Did you sleep well, dear?" Mom asked. I was getting good at the  
cloak and dagger stuff, because I didn't even choke.   
"Great, Mrs. Scully. Fantastic, really. It's all the TLC, I guess."  
He looked like the cat that ate the canary and then was named king  
of the cats.   
"Well, it's been our pleasure, dear," Mom said, ruffling his hair just  
like he was one of us boys. In a way, I guess he is now.   
Charlie shoved off at 9 when the rental car companies arrived with  
a tow truck and a couple of replacement vehicles. He offered Dana  
a ride to the metro stop so they left together. I gathered my duffle  
and made noises soon after that.   
"Going home so soon, Sweetheart? It seems like you just got  
here," Mom told me as we stood at the door.   
"Well, I hate being away from Tara, now that Matty's such a  
handful."   
She gave me a hug. "Be extra good to her. She's a sailor's wife,"  
Mom told me and I'm sure there were tears in her eyes. But I  
didn't put them there, God, I swear I didn't.   
"It's been good to see you again, Bill," Mulder said, taking my  
hand.   
"Yes, you too," I told him. I meant it. I was really beginning to  
see that he wouldn't be that bad as a family member. A family  
member who happened to live on the other side of the continent,  
mind you.   
He walked me out to the rental car. "Thanks, Bill. I know you  
haven't always approved of me, but I appreciate your efforts. It  
means a lot to Dana."   
"Just keep being good to her. Then neither of us have anything to  
worry about," I told him. Then, I just couldn't help myself. I gave  
him a hug.   
It wasn't a tight hug. More like a 'Castro meets Breshniv' kind of  
hug. But it felt right.   
I'm outside St. Anthony's right now. Maybe Father McCue has  
enough time for one quick confession. I need all the forgiveness I  
can get.   
The end.   
Vickie   
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^   
"We're gonna party like it's  
1999"   
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!   
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^   



End file.
